Where?

There on the stair.

Where on the stair?

Right there.

A little slug with clogs on?

Well I declare...you really must be a moron to think that a slug could wear clogs.

Hello.

A slug appeared in our house last night. It emerged from underneath the skirting board in the front room, by the kitchen door. Slug of mystery - it's an internal wall. Where had the slug come from? Disgusting; it was wedged under the skirting board, so Alex couldn't pick it up to take it outside...but in trying he drew Carrotts attention to the slug, causing Carrott to want to taste it. Carrott licked a slug. Carrott is truly revolting.

(p.s. Carrott is one of the cats, just in case you hadn't guessed. We don't have Harry Potter style possessed vegetables in the house. And we can spell, he's named after legendary Brummie comedian, Jasper Carrott (http://www.jaspercarrott.com/biography.asp). Not that our cat is notoriously witty...but he is ginger....ah, sod it. You just don't understand.)