I'm back to quickly recount a text conversation. (I'm ashamed to say that, yes, I started it. And no, there wasn't anything before this to make it make more sense).
Me: "Strawberry Yazoo!!"
Alex: "Apple Yeehaw!!"
Me: "Milkshake! Milkshake!!!"
Alex: "Creamwiggle. Creamwiggle."
Me: "Please...?"*
I hope to God that O2 don't do any 'monitoring of texts' creepy paranoid spying on their customers type things. Especially considering some of the exchanges between me and Lou, calling each other "old chap", crying "bally wotsit" and speaking as though we are characters in 'Great Expectations' ("Wot larks, Pip old chap"). Oh dearie me.
*Alex had better come home with some strawberry milkshake for me. I think that should have been clear enough for him to understand, don't you think?
Oh, hey: I didnt tell you about my mad dream from last night (what's that noise I hear? The sound of people click click clicking away from this page of tedium? Well, bollocks to you: I'm going to tell you anyway. Don't think you can ignore me, cos you can't. Oh ho, oh no).
I SHALL NOW GIVE FAR TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
Yes. Since the NHS ban on sex, Alex and I have had to be a little more inventive in our sexual antics...by which I mean we've had to revert back to teenage style fondling sex and silliness. We have discovered that having partial sex (me crying "don't put it all the way in!", which is incredibly erotic, of course) can actually be very satisfying in a teasing "not quite what you want but it drives you up the wall" kind of way. Anyway. We had a little play around last night and SPARKED ONE OF MY PARANOIA DREAMS.
I dreamt that I started to bleed...and that I was very worried that the midwife would investigate and find manjuices up there. I was scared that I would be told off by a midwife. Lou took me to see the midwife...but she was a scary new age type person, sitting in a tent, burning incense and talking about my cycles of the moon. More disturbing...somehow Lou managed to rig it so that there would be no trace of the manjuices. Dream Lou- is pushing the boundaries of our dream friendship. Then, I'm pushing the boundaries of our real-life friendship by not only telling Lou about my weird dreams involving her...but allowing her to find out about them by reading this diary. Oops. Sorry Lou.
Anyway.
Fuck only knows what the dreams are all about. Hormones do mad things to my nocturnal imagination.