Miyagi has stepped up the karate antics a notch. I realised last night that I can actually SEE the kicks from the outside...weirdness upon weirdness. Sometimes it looks like someone just flicked me from inside and sometimes a little lump appears, slides across my belly and then disappears when it gets to the other side.* It looks like there's an alien about to burst out of my stomach, multiple jaws snapping, gooey stuff dripping... Ahhh, we're in for a fantastic pregnancy nightmare tonight, methinks.
*Well, of course it disappears. If it just carried on it would defy all logic and would look strangely similar to the "bugs bunny tunnelling underground" effect.)
Do you like to put stuff on your cat?
BOLLOCKS VS WIGAN IN THE FA CUP
Last night I thought I saw a football team named "Bollocks". Team of bollocks. GO TEAM BOLLOCK! I would be justified in watching football and crying "What a load of Bollocks!" And imagine the football shirts. Chavs wearing bollocks. This could get interesting.
AFRO-TURD
This morning I thought a label for one of my bras had "AFRO TURD" written on it. Unfortunately this wasn't the case...but the seed had been planted already and a google search was born.
--This guy is damned weird, and it took me a long time to figure out that "muh" actually means "my". He's a gangsta. He can use extra letters to indicate mispronunciation, because dat iz da gangsta way. And have a look at the tickery type thing running along the bottom:
"I like turds in muh feet. Feet and I like them to eat. Eat who likes turds in there feet me me me."
Ok then.
--Idiot troll from the GHETTO!!! The link didn't work, but oh how I wanted to read this forum:
"good LUCK you PIECE of Afro-TURD !! PS I will try to make This the last Reply to This Idiot troll from the GHETTO, unless he OPENS up his UGLY EUNICH TRAP ..."
Sounds like a fantastic, well informed debate going on there.
--Yo! Turd Mama! : I have no idea what they're arguing about, but some of the insults are well worth jotting down for use at a later date.
"Yo mama be da turd. Da hairy one wit peanuts."
I am X to the Z to the Ibbit. Hell yeah.