Once again I am WRITING WITH NO PORPOISE. It's terrible when I do this. Poor sea-dwelling creatures are terribly underused.
Of course I actually mean purpose, not porpoise, and I shall stop being silly immediately.
BABY SHOWER TOMORROW!!
I'm so excited. I'm like a little kid before Christmas.
Alex and I went to Morrisons last night and somehow managed to spend �37 on party food...excessive amounts of party food which will no doubt be left uneaten, meaning that myself, Alex's Dad and Carrott will be having a feast in the near future (for we are the biggest pigs in the midlands. Giant great pigs. Like genetically modified pigs*).
We're having a children's party theme, so we've got kids themed food and silly games to play, which should be a really good laugh. I would post the games on here but you'll have to wait to find out, as so far only Louisa and I know what's happening and I don't want my baby sister** to read this and be forewarned. Oh ho, oh no; ye shall remain in the dark until tomorrow.
* On the subject of genetically modified pigs, is anyone else hugely disturbed by the thought of Bernard Matthew's turkey ham? What's this: "pigs might fly?" Where do they breed the chickenpigs? And how??
Turkey Ham - it's unnatural and wrong.
** My baby sister who is actually 18 years old and taller than me. In my head she's 12. In my head she will remain 12 for all eternity. Same as Lou's sister, Steph, will remain 8 forever and ever and how dare she even think about growing up?
But yes. Louisa and I are in charge of the baby shower, which means it will likely get quite silly and funny and I'm very much looking forward to it.
I've spent today cooking lots of yummy kiddly type foods (sausage rolls, cocktail sausages, mini pizzas etc) and upsetting Carrott...shutting him out of the kitchen so that he knew something interesting was going on but he couldn't get to it. Poor Carrott. Poor, tormented, Carrott.
CELEBRITY CULTS ARE JUST FRIGHTENING
Alex and I were talking on msn about Tom Cruise and his cult-based creepyness and I speculated about whether anyone in the UK follows the scientology malarkey.
It's much worse than I ever anticipated. Bear in mind that I live in Birmingham, then look at this.
The nutters are all around us.
Alex and I decided to do the personality test, to see whether we're acceptable candidates to join the church. I'm now regretting my flippant attitude to the "provide your address details" section, as I briefly forgot that YOU SHOULD NOT MESS WITH CREEPY CULTS, NOT EVEN OVER THE INTERNET.
I filled my address as:
Mr. John Lennon
123 I'm not giving the creepy cult my address
So there
Hahaha
I'm waiting for two cult members to turn up on the doorstep wearing natural coloured robes with meek expressions on their faces, before doing some kind of Derren Brown hypnosis shit on me...then I'll wake up all brainwashed with a number instead of a name, and they'll keep me in a cage as an example to anyone else who might be thinking of mocking the nutters.
To make matters worse, Alex claimed to be Winston Churchill.
If I don't update for a while, you know why. The cultnutters got us both.
Actually, despite the crappy shortness of this, I'd better go. It's 5.40 already, Alex will be home soon and I haven't even had my sleep. I'm going to get grumpy.
Much of the love. But not creepy cult love.
SIX WEEKS LEFT...BUT I WANT HER AT 38 WEEKS IF POSSIBLE; IF SHE CO-OPERATES, FOUR WEEKS...EEP
BARRY WHITE DOESN'T MAKE YOU WANT TO HUG ME? YOU'RE A TOUGH CROWD. OK...HOW ABOUT...PRINCE!!? AHA! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME NOW I'M IMPERSONATING PRINCE!!!
give Kate-Lee more *HUGS*Get hugs of your own