A new girl appeared at the desk next to mine this morning, while I was out having a fag and wee (not at the same time. Fag THEN wee.) She's called Poonam...which is a tiny little bit too close to 'Punani' for my liking...how long will it be before I get sacked for accidentally addressing her as female genitalia? Oh God.
WEIRD CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD TODAY:.
1. What would the bastard child of the brain (out of pinky and the brain) and droopy dog look like?.
2. Does Inspector Gadget have a gadget elbow? ("Go go gadget elbow!").
3. If I had ADD, would that give me a license to run around the office shouting, pulling peoples hair, throwing paperwork on the floor and generally misbehaving in the manner of a three year old?.
It would be so good to be able to act like a toddler sometimes, especially in supermarkets. One day I would absolutely love to throw myself on the floor in the middle of the cheese isle and have a tantrum. Or possibly, next time Alex refuses me chocolate mousse I could stamp one foot viciously as before shrieking in my most loud and piercing voice "BUT I WANT IT!!!". Then, when he looks away in embarrassment and possibly tells me to grow up, I could clap my hands over my ears and scream until I start to burst blood vessels in my face..
SENTENCE OF THE DAY:
"Oh, look at that. You're both ducks."