Oh for f**ks sake.....
[2005-11-23]

I just had this email from one of the pregnancy companies I'm subscribed to...what are they trying to do??

I shall copy and paste the best bits of this abomination unto the mind of me.


Holiday foods to avoid during pregnancy

Chocolates: If your Valentine brings you a box of chocolates, feel free to dive right in. But to be on the safe side, avoid candies filled with alcoholic liqueurs like Grand Marnier or Amaretto. (...Oh now really...come on. Be sensible...how much alcohol do they think is in a chocolate liqueur???)

Pre-made salads: Steer clear of store-bought salads and side dishes that contain mayonnaise or egg-based dressings, like potato salad, some pasta salads, and coleslaw. Homemade salads with mayo and egg-based dressings are okay, as long as you know they've been properly prepared and refrigerated, and haven't been left out in the sun. (....All pregnancy books I have say to steer away from homemade potato salad and coleslaw, but anyway. PREGNANT WOMEN!!! DON'T LEAVE YOUR FOOD OUT IN THE SUN!! NEW RESEARCH HAS SUGGESTED IT'S NOT A FRIDGE!!)

Smoked meats and meat spreads: If you're serving meat spreads like p�t�, or smoked meats such as smoked salmon, make sure they're canned, not from the refrigerated section of the grocery store. (...Pregnant women are meant to avoid smoked salmon and pate...)

AND MY FAVOURITE BIT OF ADVICE:

Champagne and other alcoholic beverages: Check with your doctor or healthcare provider about whether it's okay to have a sip of champagne at midnight. But if you're like most moms-to-be, you'll be asleep long before the ball drops, so toast an early New Year's with a glass of sparkling water or soda, and then head to bed.

PARTY ANIMAL!!!

I also like the line: "For more information, see our article on eating fish safely during pregnancy."...I'm imagining pregnant women wrestling with sharks, diving onto the backs of crocodiles (in a Steve Irwin-esque manner) and using scorpions as cutlery. "Pregnant women! Learn how to eat fish SAFELY!"

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