Oh God. Old men are mental. We took Amy out for a drink last night and the Bramley were doing their quiz...usually Alex and I enjoy not playing, being disruptive, shouting out wrong answers etc...but we were OVERSHADOWED BY INSANE OLD MEN!

Never before have I heard the words "Don't you fucking dare say Luton", "You're talking crap: womens legs are getting shorter" and "No, no, no! The other ones name was Jeanette!" grunted with such ferocity. AND, at one point, one of the old men started doing a little dance...very much like the zombies out of the Michael Jackson 'Thriller' video (though infinitely less energetic...more like the dance the zombies would have done if they'd been drinking heavily and couldn't get out of their chairs).

We still managed to irritate the "cacti stuck up arse" old women sat on the table behind us, though, with our ingenious answers. .

Question: Who was the first Welsh recording artist to make it big in America?
Answer: Snoop Dogg.

Question: Which Labour MP recently said "(quote)"?
Answer: Jeremy Clarkson

Question: Who was the first black newscaster?
Alexs Answer: "It was me."

Although, it may not have been the answers that upset cacti arse women. We were having a conversation earlier about teeny weeny peenies and for some reason (which I now cannot remember) I felt it was appropriate to say "Bushy Wet Pussies!", soon followed by "It was a Cum Fiesta!!"...but my volume control was broken. I can maybe see why cacti arse women were giving us such odd/evil/disapproving looks. Especially as I am a clearly pregnant woman...and pregnant women are supposed to be in soft focus with pink backgrounds at all time, possibly knitting or smiling smugly whilst stroking a perfectly formed bump which is covered modestly with a pastel floral pattered blouse. Pregnant women are not supposed to shout taglines for porn films in public. Nor are they supposed to talk about backdoor love action. Nor are they supposed to discuss setting up fetish porn sites involving religious themes and toes. It was probably exacerbated (good word) by the fact that, although I'm 23 and married, I look like I'm around 17. APPARENTLY TEENAGE PREGNANT PORN WHORES!

I think that is all.

Roger Roger (to stick with a theme). Over and out.