Realised yesterday that Freud has already hindered the ideal cute relationship between me and my unborn child...I can't read a (OH FOR GODS SAKE MSN IS THE BANE OF THE UNIVERSE, WHY CAN I NOT JUST SIGN OUT? WHY WON'T PEOPLE JUST STOP BLEEPING ME WHEN I DO NOT WANT TO BE BLEEPED???*) fairy story without seeing embedded narratives of sexual development. Snow White (images of purity and virginity there) pricks her finger (blood, it's blood! She has menstruated!) and is then put to sleep in a safe place, away from all men. Meanwhile, nature takes its course and starts blossoming, growing all around her (she has breasts! breasts and pubic hair! Oh dear God no!!!), then eventually the prince arrives with his big phallic sword and hacks his way through her forest...well, you see.
Alex and I had a conversation yesterday about Baa Baa Black Sheep and whether it's really all about racial inequality. I suggested that Baa Baa Black Sheep is suffering because of the faceless corporations (Tesco, Sainsburys et al) who are undercutting his wool prices, putting him out of business and dooming him to a life of unfulfilling factory work. Baa Baa Black Sheep - of course he has three bags full. Baa Baa Black Sheep - leading the small traders in their revolt against supermarket giants!
* It's like an illness. I don't want to talk to people but I just can't sign out.
THINGS I HAVE MISHEARD RECENTLY:
1. Alex to me: "I'm going to see a beard burger.
2. Lex Luther to Clark Kent: "Lick my balls"
3. Burger King Advert: "Have it, you twat."