We have developed a new theory about the baby. Oh yes, baby theories abound.
I was receiving yet another internal beating from the baby last night and I commented to Alex that it surely wasn't possible that I was being kicked over such a wide area, unless baby is either an octopus or an alien. Tentacles, either way. Long ones.
Me: "Maybe baby is Bruce Lee"
Alex: "Bruce Lee wouldn't fit in your belly. He'd nearly fit, but not completely. There'd be a leg sticking out."
Me: Manga baby - my womb is all blurry lines, speed lines, and baby is doing a flying kick with its mouth wide open."
Alex: "Manga is crap. We are not having manga baby."
Me: "Maybe, when I'm asleep, Mr Miyagi comes and whispers to the baby. Baby's been in there doing the crane and stuff?"
Alex: "Mr Miyagi is dead."
Me: "Reincarnation of Miyagi...?"
Alex: "Ah...Mini-Miyagi."
Yes. Henceforth our baby shall be known as Mini-Miyagi. Our baby is Mr. Miyagi reincarnated.
I wish Miyagi would keep his/her feet off my cervix, though. (Now there's a sentence I didn't think I'd ever type).
CREME EGG RECORD
5 in one day yesterday, a personal record. It was Alexs fault - I bought a pack of three...which lasted about four hours. But when Alex got home later he presented me with a pack of six. Oh God oh God. It's 10.15am and I've already had one today. "Cause of Death: OD'd on Cadburys Creme Eggs."
Oh, the fondanty egg shaped chocolately genius greatness of it all, though. Mmm.
Off to play Audioslave, see what the baby makes of it. I may be back later though. Oh yes, I may be back.