Firstly:

BABY SEX NEXT SATURDAY!!!

By which I do not mean that there is a baby porn convention being held at the NEC. I mean that we're going to find out the gender of Miyagi at 12.20 next Saturday (21st January)! Boy baby? Girl baby?

I don't think I actually care either way...although I must care, otherwise why would I be insisting on spending money to find out the sex of the baby? Ah, now there's a conundrum and a half. SOMEBODY CALL CAROL VORDERMAN! Start the Countdown Clock!!*

*"�Richard� is not really �Richard Whiteley's first name - it's John." Now, there's a piece of information you couldn't live without.

GENDER STEREOTYPING COMING UP : YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

If it's a boy I'm going to dress it in cute little combats, jeans and jumpers (Alex has found some very Slipknot-esque togs for toddlers, which could be quite creepy, but in a good way) and I'm going to build a camoflauge nest in the garden, where I (and the child, of course) can play with toy guns.

If it's a girl...camoflauge nest in the garden!!!! Or fairy hideout, if she's girly. Oh please oh please be a cool little girl who likes guns. Please. I really want an excuse to put a halfpipe in the garden in a few years time: Miyagi, you're going to skateboard whether you want to or not.

Miyagi is due on 12th May. Will someone please buy me some baby clothes from here. I thank you for your co-operation.

AND IN RELATED NEWS...

Baby rocks out to Metallica. We had some particularly rythmic kicking during 'Enter Sandman' and a strong appreciation of 'Fuel'. Fantastic. I'm imagining in-utero moshing. Just as long as baby doesnt come out like Lars Ulrich we're ok. If I give birth to mini-Ulrich...well, I don't know what I'll do.

Baby also seems to enjoy Audioslave - the dulcet tones of Chris Cornell please Miyagi. (That's another sentence I never thought I'd type.*)

Unfortunately, baby also seems to enjoy 'More than a Feeling' by Boston. Oh dear. Miyagi, there's been a serious lapse in judgement here. I'm going to try him/her on System of a Down later to see what we make of that. FOETAL EXPERIMENTS! It's the way of the future.

*Not that I spend lots of time thinking about things that I wouldn't type.

GET SHOVELNOSE OUT OF THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE

I'm launching my own ineffective campaign. Please, please, please, please, in the name of all that is good and holy, please go to the Big Brother website and vote shovelnose (aka Jodie Marsh) out. I can't take it anymore. I want to meet her at the doors so that I can present her with a bra that fits properly and a business card for a competent cosmetic surgeon.

That is all.

*Grin*

EDIT - LATER
Hug Me, damn you! I want lots of hugs!


*HUGS* TOTAL! give Kate-Lee more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own