I always have problems whenever I go to my doctors. The receptionists hate me - they've made me cry twice (twice!!) through being moronic and unhelpful.

I had an appointment at 1.30 to see the midwife and, because I'd decided that there would be a problem again (reception bitches always argue with me), I'd kept the appointment card that they'd written out. Good plan batman - I got to the surgery and the door was locked. Apparently the surgery is closed between 1 and 2pm...which causes some confusion over my 1.30 appointment.

I developed instant George Bush, over-reaction, 'ready the troops' style rage and phoned Alex, standing in the surgery car park and shouting down the phone "They're fucking morons, this always happens, what am I meant to do? Hm? What am I supposed to do?? Go home?? Rearrange again?? What??"
Alex calmly and gently suggested "you could ring the doorbell...?", but of course, this was too logical for me.
"No, because they're rude to me. What if they come to the door and make me cry again? I don't want to be sent away crying!"

I then looked upwards and realised a window was open.

I eventually relented and rang the doorbell...and was greeted by a very polite receptionist who said "oh yes, that's no problem. Come on in."

Weird. Out of character. Hmm.

It gets better though.

The midwife called me into the office and the first thing she said was "do you have your pregnancy notes?"
Cue flashback to the deliberate placing of pregnancy notes on table...flashback to me saying to myself 'Don't forget to take those with you'...flashback to closing the door when leaving the house...mental image of pregnancy notes still on table.

Oops.

Not only have I had to rearrange for next week because of MY moronic mistake, I also got told off because apparently I'm supposed to carry the notes with me at all times.

Oops more.

I hope the midwife doesn't tell the receptionists.

UNEXPLAINED SINGING

I realised this morning that I've developed a habit of singing songs about the cats to the cats. So far this morning I've noticed:
-- 'Little Flea Cat' to the tune of 'Winnie the Pooh'
-- 'Piggy Flea' to the tune of 'Robin Hood'
-- 'Catman', predictably to the tune of 'Batman'
and
-- 'You are the Piggy Cat' to the tune of the 'Cheeky Girls' song.

It's some kind of illness I don't think I want to talk about it.

BELLY BUTTON TRICK

I can now pop my bellybutton out...WITH NO HANDS!! Wow. Go on, say "wow". I know you're impressed really. Don't deny it. I can see it in your eyes.

Alex says I have an unhealthy preoccupation with my bellybutton. I can see why he thinks this : I have been asking him to look at it at least twice a day for the past two weeks, along with telling him to touch it and, on one occassion, telling him to put his nose on it. But seriously - it's very interesting and clever.

MY SISTER IS ODD

I received an email from Amy this morning with this link. No message. No explanation. No reason.

All I can say is "what the...??"

AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T TAKE THE BABY AWAY FROM US.

Another msn conversation that could potentially cause concern upon realising that Alex and I will become parents in less than four months.

Alex says:
ok, i need to find something to eat
Kate says:
Unicorn? Can chappy do you a unicorn burger?
Alex says:
he closes at 2pm
Kate says:
Damn - otherwise you would have been able to get some unicorn
Alex says:
he had some fresh in today too
Kate says:
Slaughtering of unicorns??
Alex says:
no, that big flying dog thing of Neverending Story fame brings then ready slaughtered
Kate says:
Oh right, that does make more sense
Kate says:
(Big flying dog thing fucking freaky - dont like it)
Alex says:
its friendly though
Kate says:
Thats what they want you to believe. What do you think it eats? Same brand of dog food as Clifford?
Alex says:
what? it eats cliffords family?
Kate says:
Clifford eats cliffords family?
Kate says:
Oh Clifford, I am disappointed. This really isn't acceptable behaviour.
Kate says:
You're old enough to know better than this now...I think you need ten minutes on the naughty step...
Alex says:
We need Supernanny in to deal with Cliffords delinquent behaviour
Kate says:
She has a big red bag.....actually, have you seen clifford lately?
Alex says:
Maybe supernanny tried to deal with clifford but finally got to the end of her tether and turned him into her collosal handbag
Kate says:
Don't trust supernanny with your children

I promise we'll be sensible people when the baby gets here. Honestly, we will.

HUG ME HUG ME HUG ME. Go on - I'm so cuddly.

*HUGS* TOTAL! give Kate-Lee more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own