Today, I plan to implement project 'Make The House Properly Clean'. This involves washing up, cleaning the bathroom, tidying AND POLISHING everywhere, vacuuming the whole house and also cleaning the windows. Oh, and mopping the kitchen floor. Is it likely to happen? I think not. Good intentions though, so at least I'm having efficient and industrious thoughts.

IRRITATING SHAG FROM THE PAST

Oh God, bloody married men who fancy themselves for no reason. Ok ok, I did a bad thing. I went away to a conference ages ago and I met a man. A married man. A married man who was 11 years older than me. We got on very well and, despite his really quite revolting appearance, I had an attack of the 'rose coloured spectacles' and decided that I was quite attracted to him.

So.

When he invited my boss and I to a 'networking dinner' (Pipeline Industries Guild dinner, no less - ooh the glamour of it all) I of course said that I would love the opportunity to 'network'*, as this would no doubt aid me in the career in the water industry which I had no intention of pursuing. Ahem.

Too much wine and too many cocktails were quickly followed by us going back to my hotel room and having a supremely odd sexual experience. I mean, come on - the guy had a dolphin tattooed on his hip...on the front of his hip, just to the right of his (inadequate little) cock... And he didn't do anything! Clearly he felt that his natural charm and magnetism alone would be enough to have me in the throes of multiple orgasms without him even having to touch me. Good God. Needless to say, I got bored and feigned drunken "oh no, seems the alcohol has gone to my head, I think it's time you left" and chucked him out.

And that was that.

Or so I thought.

I then had to put up with enamoured phone calls from him at regular intervals, requests for us to meet up, increasingly lavish offers of dinner and nights out, inappropriate emails sent to me at work (from his work email account no less - sackable offence there methinks)...until I eventually had to have a memorable phone conversation where I reminded him that he was married, made him say his wifes name to me (just to hasten the arrival of the guilt reflex he was lacking) and told him in no uncertain terms that nothing would ever happen between us again, it was a mistake and I would no longer put up with his incessant heckling.

Of course, this only works when you can cut contact completely. Unfortunately as we both worked in the water industry (me in skills shortages research, him as a senior manager in a very well known and enormous company) so we had to stay in contact. And of course, when I married one of my colleagues he found out about it pretty quickly.

And he did the ex thing. The 'ex thing', where they sporadically get in touch and enquire as to the health of your current relationship. The 'ex thing' where they seem to be hoping, for some reason, that you will answer "oh, we split up ages ago". Maybe it's something to do with the male ego? I'm not sure, but I've noticed this with far too many men for it to be just a coincidence.

Just yesterday he sent me an email, and I have to admit, I'm suprisingly irritated. Probably more by his self-obsessive attitude and annoying use of pet names than anything else.

From: Arsehole Man
To: "Kate"
Subject: Hello
Date: Tue, 7 Feb 2006 14:18:23 +0000

Hi Chicken,
How are you?

From: "Kate"
To: Arsehole Man
Subject: RE: Hello
07/02/2006 17:49

Hi there,

Bit out of the blue! I'm great thanks, how's things with you? What made you suddenly decide to email?

Kate

From: Arsehole Man
To: "Kate"
Subject: RE: Hello
Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2006 08:48:44 +0000

Hey monkey,

I was clearing through my archive email folder yesterday and found a couple of old emails.

So hows things going - are you still at Uni? and hows married life?

I'm currently based in Derby which is a bit of a drive but fortunately I only visit my team once or twice a week. All change again in April and I may be based from home which will be fab!!

From: "Kate"
To: Arsehole Man
Subject: RE: Hello
08/02/2006 09:21

Hi again,

Yes, still at uni - halfway through my second year now and it's going really well. Married life is still great and we're expecting a baby girl in May!

Thought there were plans for you to be based at home a while ago? Or am I thinking of someone else? Any big news since we last spoke?

Kate

From: Arsehole Man
To: "Kate"
Subject: RE: Hello
Date: 08 February 2006 09:32:09

Congratulations on your news!

Last year I was based in Edgbaston which is quite close but never managed to get actually from home

No major news, got promoted last April, and have been short-listed for another promotion - I should find out in a fortnight but I don't think I did enough in the assessment centre. However, if I do get it then I would be the youngest person in the company at that level and the next move up would be middle manager.

I also finished my masters degree in August and am contemplating a Doctorate (either PhD or DBA) but not yet - I want a rest!!!!!

Firstly - do I really care? Secondly - notice that impending baby arrival (actual big news)receives one line. His work situation (dull dull dull) receives several...also notice that his idea of "news" is entirely focused around his work. Bloody corporate dull fucking secular little work-orientated lives.** I'm not answering this: there's just no point. He only wants to brag about himself anyway.

Sorry about that, I just needed a rant. I feel much better, thank you. Your cheque is in the post.

*Networking: What a farce. I always hated this. Especially as I always had to shake hands with and make polite, interesting and work based conversation with the most boring people on the planet. I mean, come on. I was 21 years old, knew I was going to bugger off and get my degree and I was fully aware that I had no plans in the slightest to pursue a career in the water industry. So all the "here, have my business card and I'll be in touch" was for nothing...all I wanted to do was eat the sandwiches and go home. At least there were sandwiches.

**Dull corporate fucking etc etc: Oh God, the networking. The pretence that SIC and SOC codes are interesting. The erronous belief that what we were doing was actually important and helpful. The constant panic over "an aging workforce". The use of buzz-words and ridiculous business speak ("I'll touch base with you on that later") which was, in most cases, an attempt to hide a lack of any real intelligence or grasp of extended vocabulary. The painfully self-aware handshakes. The dinners, lunches, drinks...masquerading as social events while lots of people talked shop and I stood around wishing that I could JUST HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION. I think the only times these things were ever bearable were after I had a second boss come into the picture...a second boss who had a love of garfield and who understood why I would occassionally draw little daggers and hanged men when I was supposed to be taking notes and paying attention.

But maybe I'm just cynical.

I'm not sure why, but I feel better about knowing that I'm going to go into teaching. It feels more real to be actively working to get a job where I will really be able to make a difference, even if it's only to a few people. By no means do I think that everyone should be in 'samaritan' type roles, but I do believe that people should do something that they love...even if that's just working in a bar (hey, you could make someone's night!), doing academic research (there may not be many people with a passion for the same things as you - you could be finding out new knowledge that will be useful in the future!), even running a newspaper shop (somebody has to do it - if this is what interests you, you're the right person for the job!). But I just can't understand people who go to work in an admin role in a souless company...and then devote their lives to it. Fair enough if it's just a job and you keep everything in perspective...but devoting your whole life to researching skills shortages in the water industry? Actually moving from Lincoln, to the Midlands and then to Scotland in order to receive a promotion? Leaving behind your family? Jeopardising fledgling relationships just because you "don't have the time because you've got so much work on"? It doesn't make sense to me, even if the money is good.

I really am being a cynical old bag this morning...I'm going to have a cup of tea, eat a bacon sandwich and read 'Lady Audley's Secret' for a bit...then I may come back later and post again with something altogether more light-hearted. Maybe.

I grin at you now, to counteract the grumpiness. *GRIN*.

"IT'S THE BABY COUNTDOWN..DEE DEE DEE DUM, DE DE DE DE DUM..." (Like the 'final countdown' but better):

TODAY I WILL MOSTLY BE DOING THE CARE-BEAR-STARE UNTIL SOMEBODY HUGS ME


give Kate-Lee more *HUGS*Get hugs of your own