Alex and I have noticed a trend in adverts recently. A trend towards covert groin groping, usually only noticed when the tv is muted. Firstly, in the Egg advert which starts with the two guinea pigs sat on a sofa, Mr. Guinea Pig is quite clearly scratching at his crotch. Well, at least they've accurately portrayed the average man, if not the average guinea pig.

Secondly, take a peek at Beefy and Lamby, off the 'Quality Standard Meat' adverts. The other night we had once again muted the tv (why do we do this so often? Why?) and we were both stopped in our tracks when it appeared that Beefy had just grabbed at his crotch and told Lamby to suck it.

Or something.

Seriously, though, there's something a tiny bit gay going on with Beefy and Lamby. I mean, really - they live together, they cook together...and when a naked man bursts into the house and starts running around the kitchen being pursued by policemen they don't even bat* an eyelid.

*Cricket bat, perhaps? Oh ho ho, tee hee hee, I'm so god-damned funny.

GRR AT THE SODDING SOCIAL CLUB.

Alex and I were supposed to be having a lovely relaxing night in together tonight. I'm on the internet at 7pm. Can you guess what happened?

Yes. The sodding social club where he works as a bouncer called yesterday saying "Alex! We have a problem! We need you!" so Alex has had to don his Superman** outfit, stick out one arm and fly off the the Rocklands to do a bit of the old door-opening "being big and imposing" malarkey.

And our lovely night in together is ruined. RUINED!! Damn you, Rocklands! Damn you to damnation and NOT BACK AGAIN! No, you can stay in damnation and think about what you've done.

** Superman: Alex has a superman tattoo on his left shoulder. Too many people have done this now, but Alex did it in a fit of 'copying Bon Jovi' madness when he was about 18. I love it and I don't care what anyone else says. Bless him and his love of Bon Jovi. On a related note - 'Bon Jovi was thinking what?' with this picture?? Why are there no decent photographs of Bon Jovi on google image search? Google! You have failed me! Ok, so he looked a bit (or a lot) dodgy during his poodlehair stage, but Bon Jovi was a sexy little monkey for at least a brief period of time. Can I find evidence of this? No. No I can't.

But then, I suppose it's like the argument over Dave Grohl. "Dave Grohl: Gorgeous Multi-talented Beast or Big-Toothed Horse Beast?"

Dave Grohl: Sexy little bugger.
Dave Grohl in the Nirvana days: missing his computer***

And Courtney Love too...the next 18 year old who's seen the video for 'Celebrity Skin' and says "She's, like, soooo beautiful, man..." shall be assaulted with this picture. My poor husband...Alex went to see Hole and was shocked when Courtney Love came out stark naked and lifted her leg onto a speaker...giving him an intimate acquaintance with the raving nutter that you just wouldn't expect (or want). I imagine he still has nightmares.

***At this point I would like to clarify that, regardless of his questionable man/horse status, Dave Grohl is on my lick list. It's probably something to do with the multi-talentedness of him. The guitar playing and the singing. The drumming talent...I have a bit of a thing about drummers. I know it's sad, but I just can't help it. Taylor Hawkins in particular. Mmm.

AH SHITE...

Text just received from Alex: his handbrake cable has just snapped. This is not a good thing. Not a good thing at all.

AND ON THAT NOTE...

I'm off to forage in the cupboard/freezer again. It seems all I do at the moment is forage, I just really can't be arsed with actually cooking. How many times recently have I found something I've fancied, gone towards the oven to start the pre-heating majiggy...and then said "sod it" and made a sandwich instead? Lots. Lots and lots. My laziness is beyond all sense and I must get my lazy lazy arse in gear. Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be cooking something sensible!

PUBES? WHAT PUBES? I HAVEN'T SEEN PUBES IN WEEKS!

IF I DO MY BEST BARRY WHITE IMPRESSION WILL YOU HUG ME...?


give Kate-Lee more *HUGS*Get hugs of your own