I keep having really, really rude dreams. Not just your average "ooh, that was a bit risque*" kind of dream...no, full on deviant, porn-star style dreams.

And do you know what's more disturbing? I'm enjoying them. Really, seriously, 'damp between the thighs' getting off on my rude dreams and waking up feeling all twitchy and uncomfortable and extremely pissed off (albeit briefly) with the whole 'being pregnant' malarkey.

Ok, so some of the dreams are pretty tame, like sucking Alex off and having him cum all over me (this has never happened, he's never expressed an interest in covering me in manjuice...and I didn't think I was particularly fussed about a manjuice shower...but there you go, dreams are weird things and now I'm considering it...)

However. Bumsex. I've not ever been very interested in the idea of bumsex. Ok, I might consider it if asked very nicely and persuasively (actually, I would consider it regardless of how Alex asked, because he's let me try out some stuff on him, I trust him and I'd want to make him happy, but that's another matter altogether), but I've never really had too much curiosity.

So why the extremely explicit bumsex dream? A dream where I really wanted it...a dream where I woke myself up by feeling suprisingly moist and, yet again, twitchy?

And the dream where I was looking at some seriously dodgy deviant porn and having a bit of a flick... I woke up all turned on that time too. I'm actually becoming quite worried about my possible deviant status.

It could all be down to sexual deprivation (as opposed to sexual depravation), as Alex and I didn't have any for weeks and weeks and weeks...then had brilliant sex once and had the show three days later. Alex is now totally paranoid about me going into labour and won't allow me to do anything, just in case. I really upset him earlier by putting "fresh pineapple and spicy things" on the shopping list. Bless him and his worried little brain.

Although, he actually told me off yesterday for doing too much and I've been told in no uncertain terms that I'm to "TAKE IT EASY, PLEASE" for today...to the extent that he really does just want me to sit down and stop cleaning like a mad OCD lunatic. I have obliged...but it hasn't been easy. I shall maybe explain later.

*Risque: Gah! French word in English sentence!

FRONT ROOM ALMOST DECORATED! HOUSE ALMOST FINISHED!! CELEBRATE!!!

In light of the show (not that I had a phosphorescent show...glowing mystically in the toilet like one of the alien creatures off 'Invasion') Alex has now started to listen to me when I say "she could be here in less that five weeks" and has begun a DIY mission like never seen before. He wants the whole house finished NOW. Right now. He's spent all day sorting out the walls in the front room and he's now, as I type this, painting. Painting like a demon. With horns and cloven feet and everything.

Tomorrow we're sorting out all the crap we own and don't ever use (like a vegetable steamer, bread maker, huge remote control mini cooper, defunct PC, multitude of enormous hardback interior design books etc etc) and taking them round to Alex's parents, where they will be stored in the granny flat until we eventually get round to selling them on ebay. Alex's parents are in Vietnam for two weeks. Alex's Dad will likely have a small heart attack when he tries to get into the granny flat (the kitchen of which is his 'reloading room**').

** Holy crap Alex's parents house can be a scary place sometimes. One time we went round there and Derek had decided to clean his entire collection of guns. That's a hell of a lot of guns. I walked into the kitchen and every work surface, the kitchen table and the floor was covered in guns. It's a tad unnerving. Then another time we went round there and I thought it would be funny to insult Derek from the hallway. I regretted this when I turned round and saw him aiming a very large gun at me. Just to clarify - it's all beyond legal and stuff like that; the guy's a firearms officer, so he knows what he's doing. Thank God. Alex has actually said that once Heather is born he's going to arrange for his Dad to take me shooting. I can't wait!

NESTING...TWIGS AND FLUFF AND EVERYTHING...

I don't know what got into me yesterday, but Alex thinks I'm nesting. I decided that I would vaccuum the stairs. But before vaccuuming the stairs I decided that I needed to do some other stuff. So...yesterday I:
-- Washed bathmat, rugs and all towels
-- Polished everywhere on stairs, landing, nursery, bedroom and bathroom (including doorframes, plug sockets and door handles etc etc...EVERYWHERE)
-- Cleaned window sills
-- Scrubbed bathroom, including pipes behind toilet
-- Cleaned skirting boards
-- Cleaned bath and sink
-- Cleaned all mirrors
-- Threw out two black bags full of junk
-- Organised both airing cupboards
-- Cleaned both bannisters up stairs
-- Sorted out clothes in bedroom
-- Vacuumed bedroom, bathroom, nursery, landing and stairs
-- Cleared off the many shelves in front room so that I can polish them properly when Alex has finished decorating

I was busy busy busy. I really REALLY want to thoroughly clean the kitchen today (proper 'cleaning out and scrubbing the cupboards', 'getting Alex to move large appliances', cleaning the oven, grill and microwave', 'cleaning the top of the high cupboards' type cleaning)...but Alex banned me. He says I can clean tomorrow. I'm not allowed today.

SOME PICTURES!!!

I don't have many good and useable*** (useable: clearly a made up word) ones right now, but there are more on the way!

*** I can't use any with pics of Olivia, my friends little girl, in them, as a lot of people are extremely nervous about posting images of their children on the internet. I wouldn't do this to anybody as I would totally HIT THE ROOF if someone did it to me!!! Besides, I won't ever post pics of people without asking their permission, cos I'm nice like that. I've asked Stephi and she said it's fine (and I can't imagine Vanessa would have a problem with me posting the back of her head). Oh dear, I'm over-justifying myself again. Right.

This is Steph, Lou's sister, estimating the size of my belly:

This is Vanessa, also estimating the size of my belly:

Notice the gross overestimation of size? How rude. Anyway.

This is an extreme close-up of the giraffe toy Lou's Mom bought me (one of many many many MANY presents from her...I have to write her a card when I finally get myself to somewhere that sells them when my brain is in gear):

And this is the very cute penguin design on the baby bath box. Unfortunately, these penguins don't have fish on their heads. The penguins on the other stuff from this range have fish balanced on their heads. It makes no sense and I think it's bloody brilliant.

Do you know what? I've been at this computer for ages...and even worse I've been writing this entry for almost 45 minutes. I was working on an assignment and got distracted. Right, posting methinks, before it all gets out of hand. Not that it was in hand to start off with, really.

IMPATIENT MOMMY...

"GET UP (GET ON UP), STAY ON THE SCENE (GET ON UP), LIKE A HUG MACHINE..." (I know I used this last time, but it makes me sing in my head when I read it so it's going to have to stay)


give Kate-Lee more *HUGS*Get hugs of your own