Too many photos and not enough substance
[Wednesday, Apr. 12, 2006]


SLIGHT WORRY FOR A WHOLE BLOODY AFTERNOON

I was having period style cramps yesterday, which got steadily stronger and more frequent throughout the afternoon. By 4.30 I was worried enough to call Alex, who decided he would leave work early to come and help me in handling his half-sister (as I didn't feel up to being in pain AND dealing with a lot of political family related bollocks*) and to be a lovely reassuring person.

Luckily it didn't continue getting worse, so general consensus is that it's just the baby fidgeting down into position and putting pressure on areas, hence the pain and discomfort and general "have I really got another month of this!??" grumbling. And the slight spotting on Monday morning. Grr.

When Alex got home yesterday his first reaction was to look at my belly and say "christ, she's dropped a bit since yesterday...", so I'm guessing that the 'everyone's an expert' diagnosis could be pretty accurate.

*Political Bollocks. I'm imagining testicles having campaigns for re-election and stuff like that. "Vote Left Bollock - Vote for the Future!" It's a disturbingly amusing mental image. Go on, try it out.

EVERYONE'S AN EXPERT

I didn't anticipate this. This shift in the advice giving. I should have expected it, seeing as there have been phases of advice-giving and I am due another one round about now.

First trimester advice:
-- Miscarriage; how to recognise it and how to handle it if it happens
-- Miscarriage; how to avoid it (there is no avoiding - if it happens it usually happens for chromosome problem reasons)
-- Coping with morning sickness (even though I didn't really get very much of this)
-- Guessing whether we were having a boy or a girl
-- Asking if we were SURE that I was pregnant; "do you think you should do another test?" "Did you read the result within ten minutes?" etc
-- Telling me to get lots of rest, telling me to take it easy, telling me to act exactly as usual and pretend that nothing was different

Second Trimester Advice:
-- Music to play to the baby to promote intelligence
-- Diet ideas
-- Fashion tips for pregnant women
-- Coping with fatigue
-- Methods for sleeping comfortably
-- Things we do and do not need to buy for the baby
-- More guessing if it's a boy or a girl

Third Trimester Advice so far:
-- Birth positions
-- Tactics for short labour
-- Tactics to cope with contractions
-- Coping with backache
-- How to massage my perenium
-- When to start taking raspberry leaf tea
-- How to cope with having a huge bump
-- Judgements about whether the bump is large or small (with judgements at both extremes)
-- Guesses about whether the baby will be large or small
-- What our priorities should be
-- What to put in the hospital bag
-- Essential things we need to buy for baby
-- Things we've said we want for baby that we should not buy

And so on and so forth. I honestly didn't anticipate a new wave of advice beginning at 35 weeks about how to recognise the onset of labour.
So far I've been told that I know labour is definitely starting if:
-- I have a couple of loose bowel movements
-- The baby goes quiet
-- I have a backache that won't go away
-- I get an energy rush and start frantically cleaning
-- I feel really tired for no reason
-- I feel like I need to wee more often
-- I become irritable

Problem being, a lot of these symptoms are just what can generally happen in late pregnancy: your digestion's buggered up to buggery, some babies go quiet 'cause of the lack of space, you're carrying around a lot of weight in your belly and this causes persistant backache in most women, some people feel invigorated, some people are more knackered than ever (and these two contradict anyway), I definitely need to wee all the time because there's a person sat on my bladder 24/7 and I'm becoming more and more irritable because of all of the above.

Hmm.

I think it's going to have to be a case of 'in one ear and out the other' again - I'll know I'm in labour when I'm having regular contractions that are getting stronger and more frequent. I think that's all I can go on. I guess I'll know when it's happening and all the predictions in the world won't tell me when it's going to kick off.

THE CATS HATE ME

I did their flea treatment today. They're not best pleased. Flea is especially not pleased - she trembled and whimpered and cried and cried and cried and generally made me feel like an evil horrible person. I love Flea a lot...therefore her guilt trips are very, very effective. Maybe she was terrified because she saw the claim on the bottle "Kills Fleas Fast". She probably thought I was trying to kill her.

She's my friend again now; I shared my creme egg with her and, half an hour later, she decided I was allowed a scentmark.

Anyway. Photographic evidence of the cat displeasure.

Carrott looking at me with an expression of ultimate disdain that only cats can manage:

Flea looking a tad sorry for herself:

Another Flea photo, modelling her new funky do:

And Flea a few minutes ago...not entirely happy, still modelling mad hair...but better. Notice the cuteness of the pink-bit-upwards crossed paws:

It's just starting to work now, so both cats are feeling a bit uncomfortable, sitting down and looking non-plussed before suddenly leaping up and scratching frantically. Bloody Carrott just clawed his way under the duvet again, so that'll have to be changed again. He's such an arsehole...but I suppose that's one of the reasons I love him. And he can be very soft sometimes.

Here he is, having just been discovered under the duvet:

AMAZING CLEANAGE!

Wow, our house is so clean. Amazingly clean. I've scrubbed the whole building, very very thoroughly. I've even cleaned and disinfected the kitchen drawers and cupboards. The front room is all painted now and yesterday I finally finished cleaning it properly - as in all surfaces are now dust free, there is no clutter anywhere, sofa coverings are washed...it looks like a proper house. It weirded us out a bit, after living like scruffy students for so long. Alex said he felt like he was in someone elses house and that he didn't want to put the TV on, as it would seem presumptious.

There's photographic evidence of the front room, too!

Eventually the novelty of being able to upload photos will wear off and you'll be spared, but by God, I've had gold membership for ages now and I'm only just feeling the benefit**, so you'll just have to deal with it.

Look! Look at the cleanness! Just to clarify - in the photo where there's a strange dark blob on the sofa, it doesn't count as mess, as it was something that had just been washed and was about to be put away. It was part of the cleaning, but look! And say "ooh" and "aah" about the colour of the walls. Say it, biatch.

** That's what you get for taking your coat off when you have to go inside. Didn't your mother tell you?

MR. L!

Aww. Go on, say aww. Here he is. I caught him when he wasn't gurning***! He'd just opened the easter card Jo gave us yesterday and had no idea I was footling about with my phone. So I caught him! Caught him like a giant fish!

***He always gurns when I try to take his photo, as he hates it and does everything in his power to ruin the picture so I won't show people. Foiled! Foiled with foil! Like a low-budget alien in a B Movie!

I think I should go.

One more picture:

FLEA IS AFRAID OF THE GIANT BELLY PLANET:

Now I'm really going.

Give us a hug on the way past, though, won't you?

ONLY 30 DAYS LEFT...THAT'S NOT LONG...
Lilypie Baby PicLilypie Baby Ticker

"WE'VE GOTTA HOLD ON, TO WHAT WE'VE GOT, IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF YOU HUG ME OR NOT" (But it does matter! It does!! Hug me!!)


give Kate-Lee more *HUGS*Get hugs of your own

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