I am very very grumpy...
[Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006]


This is only going to be a short one because I'm feeling very grumpy and can't be arsed to write properly. So there.

Harrumph.

I'm stuck in a catch-22 of ridiculous proportions, and it's not even up to me to make a decision anyway. I really really don't want to be pregnant any more. I've had enough. I'm uncomfortable and annoyed and tired and I just want to be ONE PERSON AGAIN.

But I also don't really feel like I want to do the whole "being a mom" malarkey yet either.

I think what I really want is a break from pregnancy...like a pregnancy holiday where I can move like a normal person, get out of cars, eat the food that I want, smoke if I feel like it, drink if I feel like it, wear normal clothes...just a fortnight or so of being able to go to sleep in any position I want to (and not waking up during the night), of feeling comfortable, of MY BRAIN ACTUALLY WORKING FOR ONCE.

But it all feels very incredibly annoying and bad (an English degree doesn't mean I have to be eloquent, you know...) because I'll finish being pregnant and will be horribly uncomfortable again for ages afterwards, feeling gross, leaking from everywhere and totally knackered...and then I'll have all this responsibility and won't be able to arse about like I always used to.

And to top it off, all these feelings are making me feel incredibly guilty and like I won't be a good mother. Surely I should be ENJOYING these last short few weeks of pregnancy? Surely I shouldn't be worrying about my lack of freedom once she's born and should instead be focusing on how great it will all be?

Christ. My head hurts.

SOME PICS, TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD

Alex thinks I should have a tetris tattoo. He says that I have a game of tetris going on in my head at all times. He tells me off for putting everything in the house at right angles to everything else, and for straightening up the shopping trolley so that everything fits into it perfectly.

The other day I was making a cheese sandwich. Alex watched me make the cheese sandwich...and then called Amy to see the TETRIS CHEESE SANDWICH. Amy was impressed enough to take a photo.

I don't see what's so very wrong with this:

The next picture is an example of my cat being graceful and beautiful and feminine, as all female cats should be. I was sat in the bedroom and heard a weird noise from on the landing...a strange scratchy noise, like a chicken was trying to escape from a thin cardboard box. Intrigued, I went to investigate.

We have some hardboard propped up on the landing. This is what I saw when I got out there:

She's fucking mental...really she is.

And this is Flea in the midst of one of her loopy-fits. How Amy managed to capture this I don't know - she's usually not still for very long when she's pulling this face:

Carrott looking unimpressed...notice outside the window; you'd never guess we live in a city, would you?

And the last picture is of a dress Alex bought for Heather as a present. He saw this dress ages ago and was determined that Heather HAD TO HAVE IT. Alex will be a great Dad.

Hey - there's my tattoo just visible in that one too.

Right. I am buggering off, as I'm still grumpy and irritable and I should be doing uni work but I just CAN'T CONCENTRATE.

SHE COULD JUST BE BORN NOW...RIGHT?
Lilypie Baby PicLilypie Baby Ticker

IF YOU CAN GET AROUND THE GIANT BELLY, PLEASE GIVE ME SOME HUGS.


give Kate-Lee more *HUGS*Get hugs of your own


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