Ok...this isn't so much in my usual style as it's copied and pasted from elsewhere (and I don't have time to mess with it - babies may sleep a hell of a lot but life's pretty hectic at the moment anyway, and besides, I need a nap).
So...the birth story:
It all kicked off in style at around 8.30 on Sunday morning. The midwife had told us to try sex to see if we could get things moving, so being the obedient people we are we decided to give it a go. I managed to clamber on top of Alex and we'd just started to get things going...when my waters went with a gush, all over Alex and all over the bed! I have to say, we didn't think sex would be quite so effective!
I wasn't feeling any pains but called the midwife just to let her know that things had started to move, but she's of the school of 'better safe than sorry' and told me to pop into the hospital to be assessed.
We got there at around 10.30 and I was hooked up to a monitor - Heather was happy and I was having very regular contractions that were actually off the chart, even though all I could feel was a sort of uncomfortable tightening. The midwife who was dealing with me was astounded - she kept saying "aren't you in pain???? You should be in pain!!!" At this point I decided I'm hard as nails and started considering going into pro-wrestling after the birth. I was examined and told I was 2cm with a "lovely thin cervix". (Yes, my cervix was lovely).
They booked me for an induction on Wednesday but said they were confident we'd have our baby either later that day or the next morning, and offered us to go up onto the ward or to go home to wait for things to progress. I was feeling great so we decided to go home.
Everything stayed pretty much the same for the rest of the day; I was feeling pretty ok if occassionally uncomfortable and I was starting to think that we'd actually end up having to go for the induction. We went for a walk to try to get things moving a little faster, but it didn't seem to have much effect and by 11pm I was convinced it was all going to stop. We went to bed and I fell asleep no problems...but then woke up at 3am feeling like things had stepped up a gear - I was actually feeling some pain. So...back to the hospital where we were assessed and I was told I was still 2cm. Alex and I got back home at 5.30 and settled ourselves in for what we were convinced was going to be a very long wait! I was so relaxed about everything that I even managed to have breakfast, watch some tv, have a shower, dry and style my hair and do my make-up!
I was just finishing doing my hair at around 8.30 when I suddenly started to feel very uncomfortable; I couldn't talk (or breathe properly) through the contractions and they were really starting to hurt! By 9.10 I was actually crying in pain from each contraction (I don't cry from pain EVER, it doesn't make sense to me) and when Alex timed them it turned out I'd suddenly gone from contractions every seven minutes lasting 40 seconds, to every four minutes lasting over a minute! I called the hospital in a slight panic and they told us to go in straight away.
Slight drama when we got to the hospital, as some moron had decided that he was going to stop in the car park and wait for a space...meaning that there was a queue of traffic which couldn't go anywhere - everyone was stuck in the car park! There was even an ambulance stuck behind us, but still this guy would not move!!! I had to walk into the hospital by myself; stopping right outside the cafe to have a contraction right in front of all the people who were sat enjoying a coffee...really not what I wanted! Luckily when I got into the Birth Centre's reception the midwife who would be with me throughout, Michaela, was on the desk. Through tears I explained what had happened and she came straight out and gave me a cuddle - I think it was what I needed!!!
She settled me into the room (which was gorgeous - more like being in a hotel than a hospital!) and set me up with the gas and air - by the time a very harrassed Alex came dashing in a few minutes later I was leaning over the bed feeling quite relaxed! Apparently at one point I took a little too much, put my head on the bed, giggled and said "I feel happy". I really show myself up sometimes...
Things slowed down a little bit and I took to pacing around the room to try to get everything going. Michaela stuck some music on (Chili Peppers Greatest Hits, lol), got me a beanbag, a floor mat and a birthing ball and showed me how to use the sling (big piece of fabric suspended from the ceiling), fetched a TENS machine for me and then left us to it. They don't do vaginal exams in the birth centre, preferring to instead base their judgements on how the mother is feeling - Michaela came back every hour to listen to Heather's heartbeat but that was the only time I was messed with throughout.
After a couple of hours I was really in pain and Michaela told me she thought I'd still got a very long time to go - I'd been in labour for what felt like AGES by this point and hadn't had much sleep so, worrying that I was really starting to flag, I decided to opt for a pethidine injection. My God I love pethidine. It kicked in after about 5 minutes and I suddenly felt very, very drunk and happy. It didn't kill the pain at all, but I slept in between each contraction. Alex said it was really freaky as I would sleep, wake up to squeeze his hand and suck on the gas and air, and then would drop straight off again.
When I woke up properly three hours later and started pacing around again, another midwife came in and said that she didn't think my labour was progressing quickly enough so she ran me a bath and made me a banana smoothie in the hope of getting things going a little faster. Hmmm...it turns out that I was progressing faster than they think; about five minutes later I went into transition! I just deal with pain in such a way that they had no idea that I was so far along. Alex said that even on the way to the bathroom (literally a couple of minutes before going into transition) I refused to stop walking when I was having a contraction. I think this was more down to wanting my gas and air back than to a high pain threshold, but I can see it would have confused the midwives.
I flipped out a little bit at this point so things are a tad sketchy from here on. I remember being in the bath and suddenly thinking "this isn't good"...then getting on my hands and knees with the gas and air clamped between my teeth, holding Michaela and Alex's hands and rocking backwards and forwards. The next thing after that I remember being back in the room, on the bed kneeling over the beanbag (and at one point noticing that there were puddles of sweat on the beanbag). I remember Michaela moving the beanbag and adjusting the bed so I could lean over that and I remember telling everyone that would listen that I was too tired and was going to go to sleep. Alex said it was during this time that he was convinced I was just trying to hurt him - I bit him on the shoulder twice, I dug my claws into his love handles and twisted them 360 and I tried to dislocate his thumb. Apparently my pushing stage lasted for about an hour (although I was totally flipped out for most of it so it's all a bit of a blur) I do remember feeling a bit of poo coming out and, rather than feeling embarrassed, actually just being relieved that all the pushing was actually doing something!
I actually delivered on my back - Michaela got me a mirror so I could see the head crowning. The burning sensation wasn't actually all that bad for me; I think I was so focused on just getting her the hell out of there that I didn't care about anything! I didnt tear though, which is a definite achievement with an 8lb13 baby.
The next thing I remember after that is having my baby on my chest and staring at her little froggy body, totally unable to believe that I'd actually done it and that we'd finally got our baby!
It's a crappy crappy entry and I shall now see if Heather will stay asleep for long enough for me to upload and post some new pictures of the little cabbage.
Big loves to you all
xxx