Well g'day there. I haven't updated in, ooh, I don't know...FOREVER because I am a useless person. Yes, I make no bones about it: I am useless. But onto the entry. Get thee hence to reading the proper stuff.
Good Lord, what is wrong with my brain??
EXORCIST VOMITING
Heather had her first set of vaccinations last week. I was really nervous about it; I felt like a horrible mother and I couldn't even watch while she was actually given the injections because I thought I'd probably cry (therefore Alex got to be the horrible person who held the baby while she was stabbed. I am the nice person who cuddles her better). Anyway. It was much better than I thought, she didn't scream much and didn't seem to have had any bad reactions - she actually slept for hours and hours when we got her home. So, when she woke up, we gave her some calpol just in case and then fed her. Fine! No problem! Alex put her back into her moses basket afterwards and she lay there gurgling happily to herself and giggling at the tortoise attached to the handle.
And then she started to grizzle. So I picked her up...with the immortal words "Aww, let's have a cuddle. It doesn't matter if you're a bit sick on me..." at which point she promptly threw up 9 ounces of milk, leaving me soaked through to my underwear and standing in a puddle of vomit. Hmm. My trainers will never be the same again.
ULTIMATELY CUTE SNEEZES
I always thought that, when people make a noise after they sneeze, it's an affectation - sort of like saying "well, that surprised me!" or something. Apparently not. Ever since she found her voice, whenever Heather sneezes we get "KAPIFF! oooooh..."
It's so cute.
THE SEVEN PLAGUES OF KINGS NORTON
Last year we had 20,000 bees move into the chimney. This year we have frogs. Not 20,000 of them of course, and they're not in the chimney...but there are a lot. And they are mischevious.
Alex left the front room to go to the toilet the other day, then promptly reappeared and silently beckoned me to the stairs. Mysterious.
There was a frog at the top of the stairs, peeking over the top step, looking down on us with its little froggy eyes. The frog had not only entered the house in the brief few seconds that the front door had been opened, but had also decided that it was going to make itself more comfortable and, I'm convinced, was heading for the bedroom.
I'm now paranoid about walking around in the dark, regardless of where I am in the house. One day I'll get up to go to the bathroom or something and I'll step on a frog, it's bound to happen.
Actually, the third plague might be a plague of babies...theres's loads round here at the moment. Though that's quite sweet really, so not a very good plague.
Anyway.
PATHETIC SPECIMIN OF A WOMAN - THAT'S ME, THAT IS
In trying to core an apple the other day I accidentally pinched my little finger between the two parts of the apple corer. At first I was just impressed and shot through to show Alex the impressive bruise that was already forming (all the while pulling a face not dissimilar to the Kermit the Frog frightened expression: lips disappeared completely)...then I noticed that there was blood seeping around underneath my skin. Then the blood started to bubble up under the skin and I started to feel sick. So I went upstairs to get a drink of water and sit next to the toilet...and nearly passed out.
Hmm.
I can give birth no problem, but a little blood blister on my finger and I'm swooning and shouting for the smelling salts. Pathetic and embarrassing, eh?
I'M ALL ALONE
Alex has gone back to work today after a two week break between jobs. And for added fun:
- Heather now stays awake ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY and inevitably starts getting grumpy by around 2pm
- Alex has to go to a meeting and won't be home until after 7...eep!
- It's too hot and that makes me angry
Although, right at the moment Heather is playing on her playmat and chuntering away to Mr. Monkey, giggling loudly every now and again (he's a comedy simian, that monkey), so we're having quite a nice day so far. Fingers crossed it's lovely all day!
Anyway, I should go and play with the little madam; I know she's happy, but I feel like a bad mother when I'm not doing things with her! I only put her on the mat so I could have a shower, I didn't expect her to be this entertained for quite so long...it has to be a good thing though!
MMM, I SMELL YUMMY
I have new coconut and almond scented shower gel. I smell like coconut and almonds, which are two of the best smells in the world. I could EAT myself right now. But I won't.
Right, the monkey is now receiving a very firm talking to from Heather (I think she just sacked him) so I is orft. Loves to you all.
