This is weird.
Heather doesn't have afternoon naps anymore. It's now 4.15pm and she's all zonked out on the bed, and now I just don't know what to do with myself.
And now I have a white stripes song in my head. Buggerit and damnation (and how DID they get Kate Moss to pole dance?)
But anyway. Hello!
I'm guessing this will likely be both brief and cut short, probably without a proper ending on it, as I really can't expect too much time to myself right now. She may look all cute and snoozy, but I think babies are programmed to sense 'mummytime' in order to wake up and demand 'babytime'. Like Hammertime, but entirely different.
POOR BABY
Alex and I have been amusing ourselves with her toys. No, not in a disgusting or perverted way - go and wash your mind out with soap. Go on, get that bar of dove right into your ear. I don't care that you can't hear any more, your brain needs a scrubbin'
Yes.
In order to make playing fun for us too, we've slowly but steadily been coming up with new names and characters for all Heather's toys...and now the nursery is a sinister and disturbing place.
There's Bill the giraffe, who deserves to be punched in the face because he works for the accident group. Bill wants to know if you've had an accident in the past three years.
There's doughnut Willy, a Winnie the Pooh shaped rattle who I started calling 'Doughnut Winnie', leading to Alex mishearing me and renaming the bear.
There's Mandy the monkey, a closet homosexual who's known as Mike by day.
There's 'Gender Reassignment Cow - the pre-op Bovine', so named because I called him "Mr. Cow" and Alex's dad pointed out that a cow would be a Miss or a Mrs. Not a Mr. Leading to me arguing that the cow was on the waiting list and didn't like having his sexuality questioned.
And so on and so forth. Poor Heather.
Actually, here is Bill, lurking in the moses basket. You can see why Alex decided he works for the Accident Group, he just has that look about him.
THE LAND OF CHOCOLATE
We're doing one of our 'babies taking over the world' expeditions again on Saturday, but this time we're all off to Cadbury World. Somehow I feel that the mums will appreciate this a little more than the dads or babies...but at least all the girls will be happy. And quiet. So maybe the Dads will be happy.
STILL ZONKED
She has to wake up soon, it's bathtime in an hour! Ah, she sensed what I typed and just started to caterpillar. Babies waking up is so cute.
I'm orft.
xxx
