She's proper mental. Seriously "needs a special white jacket with arms round the back" mental. Tonight I was sat on the floor in front of the TV, filling in some forms, while Heather sat in her bouncing chair next to me. An advert for some supermarket came on and they mentioned cod. I turned to Heather and said "cod" (as you do)...and Heather chuckled. So I did it again. And Heather nearly wet herself with the hilarity of it all.

Saying "cod" is the funniest thing ever. Just saying it...no funny faces, no silly voices. Just "cod".

It's a wonder Alex hasn't divorced me. I can't even begin to imagine what he thought when he came back in the room to be confronted by this obscure scene.

A YEAR OFF, MAYBE?

We're looking into me actually taking leave of absence! I really really don't want to leave Heather, I'm worried that I'm going to bugger up my degree, I'm concerned that I'll miss important "first year" developments in my baby's life, I think I'll regret being all career driven and boring...and Alex agrees. And it looks like we're going to make my year off happen.

And for added fun, Alex seems to think that me having a year off is a good reason for us to get a puppy. God knows how men's minds work. They're like great big excitable children.

WEIRD SUPPLIES OF CONFIDENCE

Where has all my confidence come from? I feel so...weird. In a good way. I've put weight on...and I don't care...because I don't see why I should care. I know my own mind and I'm happy with my opinions and the decisions that I make. I'm not worried that people are judging me...because who cares if they are? They don't matter.

I think it's having Heather that's helped me like this...I'm not overanalysing because I really dont see any point in it - I'm happy, what else do I need to know? Thinking about the whys and wherefores of it all would probably only screw with my brain anyway.

But this is new and good. And I've felt like this for a while now...which suggests that it may be here to stay! Ok, I still have my off days where I get fed up and grumpy...but doesn't everyone?

In the words of Ren and Stimpy...you stupid idiot. Or was it "happy happy joy joy" I was looking for maybe...

BLEUGH

I'm only on bloody antibiotics. And anti-depressants. And temazepam. And birth control tablets. I rattle when I walk.

Good thing - It looks like I don't have glandular fever. Not so good thing - I have some kind of infection that requires elephant tablets to treat and means that we have to package Alex's tackle in cling film for any kind of intimacy over the next week (which, I'm pleased to report, has led to the use of lots of willy-packaging). Good thing again - at least it's treatable.

IN LOCAL NEWS...MENFOLK, CROSS YOUR LEGS

Alex is having the snip. We've decided we're definitely definite about not wanting any more babies and Alex is going to take steps (probably tentative and wobbly steps, but steps nonetheless) to ensure that he's firing blanks. I rejoice...not because my husband is going to have testicles the size of hot air balloons for a couple of days, but because I WON'T HAVE TO BE ON THE PILL ANY MORE!!! Woohoo! Jump for joy and things like that!

But poor poor Alex.

DROOPY TAIL CAT

Poor ickle Carrott - we thought he'd broken his tail as it's been all droopy and odd since yesterday and if we touched it he bit us. Alex took him to the vets today and it seems he's either got a sprain or an abcess caused by fighting...but horror of horrors - he now has to stay in the house until he goes back to the vets on Thursday! I have a housebound mental ginger tom. My house is going to be destroyed.

AND NOW I SHALL DEPART...

...for I am sleepy and I want to find out if Alex is following instructions as to preparing dinner. Hehe...I usually do it but I'm playing the knackered insomniac who's feeling rough card tonight...ah well, I work bloody hard in this house. I have to have a night off every now and again.

Many love to yous

xxx