Ever seen what happens when someone has a bad trip and then decides to create a website? Would you like to see? Well would ya, punk? Turn up your sound and experience THE FREAKIEST WEBSITE IN THE WORLD.
While you're at it, why not investigate the International Hedgehog Olympics? I especially like the part about "Handlers are allowed to bribe their hedgehogs with any reasonable treat with the exception of live crickets. No live crickets are allowed. " I really enjoy the emphasis on no live crickets. More sporting events should have that rule.
NO! LIVE! CRICKETS!
Also, I might have to attend the next olympics just for the costume competition: "Hedgehogs will be judged on factors including originality, personality, and overall effect. Owners may dress in coordinating costumes with their hedgehogs, but this will not be a factor in the judging for this event." Firstly, wow. I want a hedgehog. I want to enter. Secondly, you know the offspring song, 'Original Prankster'? I now have "Original Hedgehog" on repeat inside my head. Alex isn't home yet...you've got to feel sorry for the bloke, really.
THE REAL PRESTIGE LIES IN KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GURNER OF THE MONTH.
Now, that is prestige. Sod the Nobel prize, I want gurner of the year Don't you feel sorry for people who live in cumbria? CUMBRIA: KNOWN FOR GURNING.
EDIT(Later): Alex got home to find me in the bath, with Carrott keeping a close eye on proceedings. He seemed especially interested in my feet and boobs (Carrott, not Alex), and every now and again would dip his paw into the water in an attempt to cop a feel. Alex has renamed him "THE HOFF" and "David Hasselcat", in the mistaken belief that the cat is not a pervert and is simply playing lifeguard.
That is really all now.