You know the burger king* advert where a collosal burger falls out of the sky and crushes a car? Have a look at the disclaimer at the bottom of the screen: "Product shown not actual size". Oh God, the disappointment. Collosal disappointment, no less. Kong my disappointment.

*Just googled Burger King and, further down the page, saw this website. What the...???

SCAN DAY TODAY, SCAN DAY TODAY!!

Is it a boy baby or a girl baby? Is it Sonny or Cher? Is it Magenta or Blue (as in Blues Clues, not as in actual colour of baby). This morning I asked Alex what he thinks it is...he said a baby. I said a spider monkey. He said a silver backed gorilla. I sent him to work. It was the right thing to do.

Alex and I saw a blurb the other day describing a Clifford film: "Huge red dog saves family from bankruptancy". I mentioned to Alex that it'd make a great horror (or headline) if we just removed the words "from bankruptancy" and changed "saves" to "devours". HUGE RED DOG DEVOURS FAMILY. Alex then came up with "CLIFFORD BATTLES THE ARMIES OF SATAN!!" Clifford - there's more to him than you'd think.

My mother in law is on drugs, I swear to god. We popped into town yesterday while Alex was putting a bed together, and as she wandered she told me about her ideal plan for the future. In this ideal plan, Ed has an extreme sports shop (as in a shop specialising in extreme sports, not as in a sports shop which is incredibly dangerous), Alex manages the business behind the scenes and Dee makes little things for the extreme sports crowd. BUT: this is not a hypothetical plan, she actually sees this happening. Firstly, I don't think Ed has plans to open an extreme sports shop. Secondly, Alex has his own business ideas. Thirdly, I can't imagine the extreme sports crowd wanting to buy little homemade trinkets of a crafty persuasion.
And it gets better!
A few minutes later, she asked me "would you move to New Zealand as well, if this all came about?" WHAT?? This is all happening in New Zealand now?? I stuttered around for a little bit and eventually settled on "well...I suppose it would all depend on what's happening with our lives at that time"...but what???

Where did the extreme sports shop/emigration idea even come from? We need to find the parental stash...and hide it.