...Heather has been sleeping for the past forty-three minutes. Kate is sat at the computer trying to do her dissertation proposal, but has been browsing forums and diaryland for the past fifteen minutes. If Kate does not complete her dissertation proposal she will fail the 'getting a degree' task and will have to survive on the basic budget of one proper income for the rest of her life.
Ok, I'll stop being silly now.
IT'S RAINING, IT'S POURING, I WISH I WAS SNORING...
Thank God for that! I woke up with a start this morning to the sound of some pretty impressive thunder, the grobag egg thermometer* has now gone back to orange instead of worrying "it's so hot your baby will die!" red and there's a lovely fresh breeze coming through the open window. It's still a big muggy, but hopefully (fingers crossed, touch wood etc etc etc) things will start to cool down a bit now. And maybe, just maybe, Heather will be calmer if the weather is cooler.
OH LORDI.
Yes. Bloody cheesy faux death metal bands from Finland have caused some problems. I like to say "Oh Lordy..." but now I can't, as all I think of is the eurovision song contest winners all dressed up in their monster costumes**.
Although, I've discussed with a few people and have come to the conclusion that they may have actually improved my little exclamation, as we now have reason to insert other crap bands in the place of Lordi, as more polite and generally non-blasphemous expressions of surprise. For example:
"Oh, Fallout Boy!"
"Oh, Status Quo!"
"Oh, Lost Prophets!"
Oh! Faith No More!"
and, contributed by Louisa, "Oh, Recent Green Day!"
It's all very funny. When you've got no brain.
*Grobag Egg thermometer: it looks funky, it's idiot proof, it changes colour to indicate whether the temperature of the room is too hot, warm, ideal, or too cold and it generally gets itself into a state of panic over high temperatures. The damn thing seems to overreact and even registers an increase in temperature when somebody walks past it. Hmm. I dont trust my funky thermometer.
**I saw "Monster" on Kerrang, closely followed by "Hard Rock Halleluyah***" with Lordi dressed up in all their monstery finery. This led to a new version of 'Monster', with "What's that coming over the hill, is it Lordi?"
Bloody hell I think my brain has melted. Have I ever written so much crap before in my life? Maybe the dissertation proposal should wait until later.
***Halleluyah: THIS IS NOT THE CORRECT SPELLING. I don't know if Lordi are responsible or if people at Kerrang are morons, but it really grates on me. Same as the tattoo shop down the road with "Tattoo's" on the sign outside grates on me. Does the apostrophe indicate that this is an abbreviation of "tattoo is"? Or does it indicate possession?
Grr grr grr.
OLD BABY
Heather is four weeks old today! I can't believe how fast the time is going, or how big she's getting. She's developing so fast it's actually a little frightening; yesterday when I was feeding her she gripped the bottle in her hands and guided it into her mouth. And she's started making noises other than crying or purring (yes, she purrs. Sort of), which is really cute.
Anyway.
DAMMIT...
...the batteries in the scales have gone. And they're daft little round batteries, so it's not like I can steal some from elsewhere in the house. How am I meant to know if I'm losing the baby weight when all the scales can tell me is "LO". Hmm.
Actually, it's just another example of things being buggered up by technology. If we had normal, non-electronic scales we wouldn't be having this problem. And Edd (Alex's brother) has been having problems over the weekend because he lives in a dodgy area of Bangor in Wales and his electric windows suddenly stopped working on Friday. He can't close any of the windows on his car. If he'd got normal windy**** windows there wouldn't be any issues.
And like that time when some freakish electrical disturbance in Redditch meant that the central locking on people's cars buggered up, leaving poor people totally stranded and unable to get into their vehicles.
Technology - it is clearly the tool of Satan. And we're soon going to see a world very much like that depcited in 'Terminator', where the machines start to take over the world. It could happen. Think about it.
Although maybe I'm being hypocritical, seeing as I'm about to post this on the internet.
**** As in "winding up" not as in "blowy".
"HIFFY HIFFY HIFFY"
That's the noise Heather makes when she's thinking about crying. When she's thinking about waking up she says "grnnnn" and does an impression of a caterpillar. I've just heard an ominous "grnnnn" from the corner, so should probably get this posted and actually get on with my dissertation proposal.
I be orft.
xxx
GROWING UP FAST!
COME ON, CUDDLE ME. I'M ONE HOT MOMMA.
give Kate-Lee more *HUGS*Get hugs of your own