We had the new carpet fitted on...(when was it? Friday? Yes, ok)...Friday, up the stairs and in the spare room/nursery. WE HAVE CARPET! Had to put up with more workmen, but it was worth it. I don't enjoy having men in the house doing work, as I 1. don't like being beholden to making tea for strange men, using my teabags and my mugs (when they never appreciate my clever mugs), 2. don't like being called "Love", 3. don't like that they never remember the simple "please don't leave all the doors open as I don't want the cats to get out" instruction, and 4. they always ask me questions using technical language, meaning I have to phone Alex at work so they can speak to him...who they talk to in plain English. It's a conspiracy against women...MAKE SURE THE WOMEN DON'T UNDERSTAND!
However, these ones were very nice. Suprisingly old, but nice.
The only problem was that one of them spied Alex's guitar when he walked in, asked if I played (I don't - I didn't master 'Nothing Else Matters' within ten minutes of picking the thing up, so I got bored. I can do the first few notes perfectly though, you should hear me. I'd kick Metallicas ass on that opening bit. Oh yes) and then sat himself down and played something, looking very pleased with himself. He said "recognise it?"...well, what was I meant to do? Be honest? Of course I said yes. He then mentioned something about Bob Dylan and, hoping to make him feel comfortable, I said "oh, I like Bob Dylan." Big mistake. He decided that I had an obsession with 60s and 70s music* and spent the next three hours talking incessantly about bands, people, concerts, things he'd done in his youth etc etc. Ok, I was wearing my Led Zeppelin t-shirt, which probably didn't help, but still. I tried everything, I really did: I invited him to have a look at the cd collection (mostly 90s stuff) but he didn't click. Later I tried "I really like grunge" and showed him my Nirvana tattoo. Nope, still determined he'd got my musical taste sussed.
A SEAMLESS SUBJECT CHANGE. I am a cohesive genuis.
I turned on the shower this morning and Carrott jumped up onto the edge of the bath to watch...but he just stared at the water trickling down the plug hole, with his head turned slightly to one side...and didn't move for ten minutes. Every now and again he'd look up at me with his sad little cat eyes, as if to say "why are you doing that? We're all going to die anyway". After a while he jumped down and plodded off, but I haven't seen him since. I think Carrott's had some kind of huge life changing philosophical revelation about his own mortality, bought on by seeing the water running out of the bath, much like the unstoppable force of own life running away from him. He needs some space to process this. Cat crunchies in half an hour to avert cat suicide, though.
*Have you ever considered adverts that run as a series with recurring characters? It just doesn't work. These adverts give the impression that the characters have an obsession with one product. Take the Daz family - they're meant to be normal, we see them in lots of different situations...but the parents NEVER STOP CLEANING. "Daz - for people with OCD."
The Bendicks people: I take issue with this advert on a number of levels. Firstly, they're snobs. The posh people won't let their neighbours in until they're presesnted with a box of Bendicks chocolates. Secondly, Bendicks or no, Mingles are not posh chocolates. Then, of course, there's the obsession.
"Try the (something) challenge" - a series of adverts tracing how the obsession with a product is spreading**. Ineffective though...the obsession hasn't spread far enough, I can't remember what the product is, and even google*** can't help me now.
**Toast with sunflower spread and strawberry jam. Time for breakfast methinks.
***I love ebay. Their advertising can sometimes seem so obscure. Alex was on the phone and I was bored, so was googling anything he said that sounded vaguely interesting or unusual...a search for "big foam wedge" kicked up an ebay advert:
Foam Wedge Sale
New & used Foam Wedge
Check out the deals now!
www.ebay.com
A sale on foam wedges!?? Wow!! How did I not know about this??
FINDING OUT BABY SEX ON MONDAY! MONDAY!!
I just received an email from Mom that starts with the words "probably the best fish joke in the world." I just don't know. She's mental in a very real sense, and sometimes...well. Had one the other day saying she was doing "some research online and blah blah". Research? She's a housewife, what was she 'researching'? Probably something for the gallery she owns in her head. It must be fun to be that far detached from reality.
The mystical Singing Cat of Kings Norton has returned. "STOP : Crunchie time." Can't touch this...oh no you can't.